Steven Hawking lecture at USC...

A friend of mine attended the recent Steven Hawking lecture at USC on March 10th. She sent me this video posted on YouTube summarizing the event. It was pretty awesome, but you know... with Hawking you have to be patient because of his speaking aparatus... so bear with it... it's worth it!

Christian Bale Top 10 List...

In case you've been living in a cave for the past 7 days...
Here's a quick recap of all the REALLY important stuff that you might have missed...

Christian Bale, like, totally freaked out and he was, like, totally cursing out this guy, like, on the set of Terminator 4 and now it's, like, totally all over the internet and, like, people have been totally making fun of it all week and it's, like, totally funny now!

There now you're caught up.

It was a pretty jacked up rant, and so it is certainly understanding that it should gain significant attention, but seriously... how much can we really milk this event for comedic content??

Well... it turns out... the mine runs pretty deep!


In just under a week Christian Bale has inspired countless re-enactments, mash-ups with other celebrity rants, re-imaginings involving donuts and Elmo, homage videos by other actors, cable TV comedy skits, network TV comedy skits, a new dance club hit, and he's been Rick-rolled!

In fact... Sony Pictures is even trying to market on this event by running Google search ads AND YouTube search ads saying "Christian Bale... gets all 'Fired Up'!" - but these links just take you to ads for "Fired Up" which is a movie about High School boys trying to bed cheerleaders (I'm not sure I get the Christian Bale connection ... You'd think they'd be driving traffic to something for T4)?!?

Since there is such a plethora of material now available on the subject of Christian Bale's angry tirade, I figured I'd help you out by providing a resource for easily locating the important items.

Here's my Top 10 list:

#10
Maybe this is how it looked on the set?! - Probably not, but its fun to watch someone lipsynch to the audio standing in an industrial park and carrying a massive weapon Terminator style. Not too creative though...

#9
What if he just had a really nasty hankerin' for some donuts?!

#8
Mash-up with Bale and Lilly Tomlin going toe-to-toe - definitely interesting... this one sounds like it just might have happened... though I think they both might've forgotten exactly what it is they're arguing about the dialogue gets kinda circular.

#7
The movie studio responds! - sort of...

#6
Christian Bale berates "David After Dentist" - A quality mash-up! Two internet phenoms in one!

#5
Christian Bale's "sister" freaks out on her dogs - funny stuff!

#4
Now wait... I'm confused... Why is Batman yelling at Elmo while being chased by a midget?? - Oh yeah... because it's REALLY FUNNY!!

#3
Killer dance re-mix by RuPaul's producer RevoLucian - with bonus points for political relevance; the track is titled "Bale Out"!

#2
The Colbert Report goes all Christian Bale on guest Steve Martin

#1
What happens when Christian Bale becomes unemployed - WOW! If you've ever been to Hollywood & Highland and seen the "movie characters" that pose for photos on the street... YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!! BRILLIANT!!



Also ran:

- Michael Cera gets props for his pop culture savvy, but he's just too nice to be believable in this send-up

- "YouTube News" interviews the Bale and the Governator about T4 - This one almost made the list, but I could only take so much of the annoying hosts making faces at the camera... so close.

- Mash-up with Bale and Bill O'Riley going at it - good thought, but not real convincing... ho, hum... yawn...

- Another reenactment/reinterpretation - production quality stinks, but the DP in this is entertaining; he just can't let go of his crappy little light.


Why...
- Christian Bale gets Rick-rolled - Why??... Who started this? Why does anyone continue it? It's stupid. It's not even funny. Give it up. Let it die. Just let it die. Please...


p.s. - For reference... This is the original audio track of Bale's tirade.

Super Bowl + porn = ??

I'm not dead yet... but you wouldn't know it from reading my blogs...

Of recent we have been more simply "tragic" than "tragically hipster" in our collective failure to bring you the latest and greatest from the city of angels.

While I can't promise a full fledged renewal, I do feel the need to share one crazy story about the Super Bowl...

Aparently cable viewers in Tuscon got a happy ending with their Super Bowl; in the final minutes of the game, the broadcast was interrupted by 30 seconds of PORN!

All I gotta say is...
WOW! Somebody is so totally fired!
And it was probably totally worth it!

Because any prank that violates the sacred broadcast space of the Super Bowl is awesome in my book!

You can read more about it here.
And if you're really curious you can watch some of it on YouTube.

"The Relevance Was Alaska's"

The Relevance of Africa
Sarah Palin

And the relevance to me
With that issue,
As we spoke
About Africa and some
Of the countries
There that were
Kind of the people succumbing
To the dictators
And the corruption
Of some collapsed governments
On the
Continent,
The relevance
Was Alaska’s.


"Not since Walt Whitman published Leaves of Grass has there been such an electrifying debut. And she is yet to publish a collection. This is an astonishing poetic insurgency. The building momentum will soon be unstoppable."

LINK:
Sarah Palin for Poet Laureate

HOME ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Funky Forest: First Contact on DVD

Crop circles are awesome!

So apparently this one is old news, but I just found out about it...

Let me start by saying that crop circles are AWESOME!

If you believe in aliens... AWESOME.
or if you enjoy the exploits of clever pranksters... AWESOME.
If you're into geometric abstract art... AWESOME.
If you're a geek at heart... AWESOME.
If you love puzzles ... AWESOME.
If you enjoy picturesque landscapes... AWESOME.
If you're an Anglo-phile... AWESOME.
Everything about them is AWESOME!

So...
Now that we have established that you like crop circles...
(unless you are a prudish, British hating, nature killing, art-phobe, lunk head)

Check this out...


"Yeah, Yeah... Okay... So what... It's just a crop circle..."

Maybe...
But this is a crop circle that abstractly depicts the first 10 digits of pi!
A crop circle that says - "3.141592654..."

Don't believe me? Check this out.


It even includes a mini crop circle decimal point!

I think the middle school mathlete in me just wet himself with glee...

You can read more here.

The Japanese: Imaginations Still as Cute/Deeply Disturbing as Ever

Petition signatures to put the nation of Japan under a plexiglass lid so as to safely observe its culture will now be accepted:

"In My Soul, I Know I Am Asaad Kelada."

LINK:
Gilmore Girls: The Complete Second Season

Ab Fab Obama

FREE -- Shadowplay Takes Film Cheerleading to a New Level

Over on his excellent Shadowplay blog, David Cairns has decided to take an unusually active hand in promoting the work of French auteur Julien Duvivier: by giving away DVD-Rs of his 1939 film La Fin Du Jour (The End of a Day) free to all who request it:

In a daring rear-guard action to promote the reputation of defunct French film director Julien Duvivier, Shadowplay is GIVING AWAY DVD-Rs copied from a decomposing late ’80s VHS off-air recording “borrowed” from the Lindsay Anderson Archive in Glasgow. I will personally send a copy to everyone who asks for one. The quality of the disc will be shit. The quality of the film is unspeakably superb.

To the best of my knowledge, the film is not available on DVD or VHS in the U.S., and foreign copies are distinctly lacking in English subtitles.

Having never seen any Duvivier myself, I'm eager to take a look at his work. The New York Times review of La Fin Du Jour from 1939 is aglow with love for it:

[T[he story of the film is that of a home for old actors, a reliquary of glorious memories, a restless tomb for dreams that never were fulfilled. It is a sentimental film, as such things must always be; but it is droll, too, and almost cruelly objective. Charles Spaak, who wrote it; Julien Duvivier, who directed it, and the fine cast that played it have stoutly resisted the theme's inherent tendency toward self-pity and self-ridicule. Nothing would have been more banal or bathetic than an actor's home filled with mirror-posing Hamlets or dear old ladies bent over yellowed scrapbooks. Simply for the record, and as a tribute to Gallic self-control, there are none of them in the film...

Duvivier's understanding of [his characters] is too thorough, too temperate, too sympathetic to permit him to shape their drama deliberately into farce or into melodrama. To see it as a whole one would also have to recall the beautifully happy old couple who sat hand in hand through the film, speaking of their children and grandchildren and deciding finally to get married.

To see it whole one would have to hear the speeches at the protest meeting, when all the guests voted to demand a radio in every room and two free stamps a week, not realizing the home was about to be closed through lack of funds. To see it whole one would have to follow Duvivier's camera through the empty corridors at night, with ghostly applause echoing everywhere -- the echo of a hundred taunting dreams.

To take advantage of this shockingly generous offer, head on over to the Shadowplay blog and drop a line in the comment thread. (And a nice "thank you" wouldn't be out of place, either.)

LINKS:
Shadowplay: The Willfully Eccentric Film Blog of David Cairns
Shadowplay: The Great Duvivier Giveaway

Jim Henson's Surprisingly Violent Wilkins Coffee Ads

As alluded to in Sunday's episode of Mad Men, in 1958 a pre-Muppet Jim Henson designed a series of short commercials featuring puppets hawking coffee. Unremarked upon in that episode, however, is their inherent violence, which would undoubtedly raise the ire of parental advocacy groups everywhere were they to air today:

Uncle Jay Explains the conventions!

For those of you who don't know my Uncle Jay...

My Uncle Jay is a really great person. I like Uncle Jay really a lot. He's a really, really great grown-up person. Anytime I am confused about stuff he does a really, really good job to explain it to me good so it all makes sense. He's the bestest. I like Uncle Jay.

Uncle Jay has his website and he makes video stories for me to learn all about the news each week. I really like my Uncle Jay! You can see him too at UncleJayExplains.com!

I like my Uncle Jay.

And I like his story this week about the conventionses.



p.s. - In case you are dense... this is not really my uncle, but I wish he were! I highly recommend visiting Uncle Jay's website every Monday to get caught up on the week's important news! If you're too lazy to go to the website, you can just subscribe to his video podcast and have it download automatically!

p.p.s. - You definitely need to go view his episode from July 2nd, 2007! This is Uncle Jay at his BEST!

Enjoy!

Further Adventures in Workplace Photography

I think it might be 1988...

... but I'm not quite sure.


As evidence I submit 4 clips from this week's most popular TV show in America - So You Think You Can Dance...

1. Joshua dances to funk icon Zapp's mid-80s hit "I Can Make You Dance"
2. Twitch dances to 1986's "Midas Touch" by Midnight Star
3. Twitch then follows up by dancing to 1988's "Don't Worry Be Happy"
4. Lady GaGa performs her club hit "Just Dance" - while looking a little bit like Jane Fonda just walked out of her workout and grabbed a jacket and shades from the sci-fi mini-series "V" (or maybe she borrowed it from Michael after Thriller)




I swear I thought the nightly news might lead right in with a story on Gorbachev's "Perestrioka" reconstruction efforts in the Soviet Union!


Don't worry...
I'll set the record straight...
It is definitely 2008 and not 1988!!


I shall now demonstrate by recounting current world news!

Major airplane disasters have spawned a series of "based on real events" movies.
(...are they inspired by bombed PanAm Flight 103 and Aloha Flight 243 that ripped open in mid-flight, or inspired by United Flight 93 and the 9/11 disasters??)

Benazir Bhutto's party has been elected to lead Pakistan.
(...is this her first term, or is her husband ruling for her posthumously??)

Iraqi Sunni's loyal to Saddam have been fighting for years against the Shi'a insurgency within Iraq and across the border in Iran.
(...is this the "Iraq-Iran War" or the US led "Iraq War"??)

In Afghanistan, an untrained army of insurgents is defeating a major world power!
(...but is it the Soviets or US who are losing??)

Major banks are in crisis and many are going totally out of business!
(...but is this the "Savings and Loan Crisis", or the "Credit Crisis"??)

Senator John McCain's "Keating Five" political scandal is all over the news.
(...but did it just happen, or is this political mudslinging??)

George Bush is preparing to leave his current post at the White House!
(...but is it Sr. who is just finishing as VP and taking over the Presidency, or Jr. who is ending a second term??)

And... we're gearing up for the Olympics!
(...are they in Canada or China??)


Wait ... I guess I'm still confused ... is it 1988 ??
Help.

Tao Lin Offers a Cure to Existential Despair Through Strategic Investment Opportunities

Poet/author/blogger/etc. Tao Lin is selling ten "shares" of his new novel, totaling 60% of the U.S. Royalties, on his website. Beyond the simple support-your-local-artist philanthropic benefits that buying into the book might bring you, he also suggests that you may get some long-needed existential relief out of it as well:

People who buy shares will also have more meaning in life if they already like and promote my writing, because they can promote my writing and also be making money for themselves, which can be exchanged for "goods" in concrete reality; therefore existential despair due to "having to do what you normally wouldn't be doing if you had a lot of money" can be relieved to some extent... If you don't know what to do with your life, or even if you just want to relieve boredom for the 10-15 minutes it will take to send me a check or paypal me, or email me, I recommend that you buy shares of the royalties of my second novel. I recommend this because you will then know what to do for a while, and if you ever feel bored in the future, and own shares of my second novel, you know you can always promote me in order to make more money for yourself. You will never not know what to do with your life again if you own shares in my second novel, sort of.

I haven't yet read "Eeee Eee Eee", Lin's first novel, but "You Are a Little Bit Happier Than I Am" is one of my favorite books of poetry released in the past few years.

At $1,250 per share, investing in Tao Lin's artistic future is a little out of my price range at the moment, but those of you with recently-matured trustfunds or an excess of pocket change may want to take a moment to consider the possibilities.

LINK: Reader of Depressing Books.

Health services are waaaaaay cooler in Uganda!

The Circumcision Song - by Circ Squad

Death to Emo: The Reds Strike Back!

They say that history repeats itself: the first time as tragedy; the second time as farce. If that's the case, then all the boundary-pushing and society-thrashing that was the birth of punk rock has come 'round again, and this time its name is emo.

Those aging hipsters in the audience might recall those far-off days of the Great Mexican Emo Riots of '08, in which teenaged goths, punks and metal-heads ran wild through the streets of Querto on a quest to attack any and all emos who crossed their path. (The logic behind this apparently being that emos kind of suck: "Emos, their way of thinking is for crap, if you are so depressed please do us all a favor and kill yourselves!" went one of the posts on the message board that helped organize the "emo hunt.")


Now, according to this article in The Moscow Times emo has come under governmental scrutiny in Russia, with a proposed ban on emos in the works:

Emos, according to the bill, are from 12 to 16 years old and wear black and pink clothing. They have black hair with long bangs that "cover half the face," black fingernails, black belts peppered with studs and pins, and ear and eyebrow piercings, the bill says.

The "negative ideology" of emo culture may push young people toward depression and social withdrawal, and the movement carries a significant risk of suicide, especially for young girls, according to the bill...

In November, the Novgorod regional education department issued a letter to all schools in the region with a description of emo culture, saying the "dream of every [emo] is to die in a warm bath from the blood of cutting their wrists."

Font-phile Graphic Design Humor

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Sesame Street de-constructed

If you thought The Count just loved counting... try watching this!

Holy Texting, Batman!!

World Youth Day 2008 starts up in 2 days!

This is a big annual event where the Catholic church tries really hard to rally the youth of the world... This year WYD has gone uber-hip!

Announcing...


DAILY TEXT MESSAGES FROM THE POPE!
YEA!!!

(if you don't believe me you can read the press release here)

Other uber-hip stuff includes the following declaration about sex... "If there is one word that sums up the Church's attitude to sex it would be WOW! 'cause sex really is awesome!" ... and ... "Saved Sex = Awesome Sex!"

In the words of the immortal Saint Robin...